Confession

my off cycle adjustment has been approved and it will be reflected in my month end payroll effective March 2010. It is a XX% increment.

i was told that if i can keep up the good work and maintain my performance surely i will go very far.

the question now lies in this=> do i want to go far? how far?

can i afford to go further at the expense of my health and time? this is what that stresses me.
my new yr resolution is to work less than 45 hours a week. i believe by doing what i have to do is good enough. i do not have to overleap to reach the 100% or 102%. 80% is good enough.

there has a been a lot to think about these days. and i have chose now to think less. or not to think at all.

there is a saying which I or most of us should believe in. do not worry over something which is yet to happen. dwell with it only when it comes.

the moment i start to think the stress came. who doesnt want to lead a carefree life? in reality life is full of suffering. why not choose to live happily when things dont arise and when it happens then let's face it. spend time doing something else rather than occupying one's mind with all the nonsense. worry something which is yet to happen and ended up having a life which is full of worries...

life is sad enough to have so much ups and downs...let us choose to live the best out of it and dont waste our time on having too much thoughts and worry something which may or may not even happen.

i know it is easier said than done.. but we will have to try

i have began to realise that

LIFE IS SHORT

we only live once. Human are fragile beings. For tht matter i have always told everyone tht i think Life is LONG. I proved myself wrong now and i am glad.

and today i finally found the courage in me to seek for forgiveness from all those people whom i have met, whom i have offended whether intentionally or unintentionally.

"I'm Sorry, and I sincerely apologise"

to Steven - i know you love me. i admit that i wanted to know why and how much you love me. i realised that this is not measurable. i also admit how i develop too much thoughts thinking of to be with you. thinking on how would people judge me if i were to be with you, also worry on how this relationship will last because i'm such a perfectionist. also occupying myself with the worries on your career as oppose to mine as well as the status; financially.

one thing important to highlight and will be good if you are reading this - i have finally overcome the matter on our age difference. the rest of the remaining factors are all mentioned in the above. i needed more time to digest.

i was feeling upset because i've thought so much of it. and as a result i'm unhappy and stress out. let's just stay put and if we are happy at the current state then let's continue to strive for the best.

finally..done and over with.

hellooooo blogger!!!

i'm back and make it frequent..and keep the ball rolling i hope.

just 2 days ago a thought came to me all of a sudden. i have not been blogging (weekly like i used to do) for the past few months since august because of those underlying reasons.

i'm sure you can name it.

Now its already coming to end of March. hoping that its not too late to set a new year resolution.

1. Work less than 45hours a week.
2. Attend yoga classes 2 to 3 times a week.
3. Go for outdoor activities during the weekends.
4. Read a book once in a month.
5. Relax and Get Enough Beauty sleep.
6. let me think....