do you want a wonderful beginning or a wonderful ending?

真正的爱情，不是 一见钟情，而是日久生情。

一见钟情是有一个华丽的开端，

日久生情是有一个美丽的结局。

i prefer to have a happy ending....

went for dinner with a high school friend and i was quite surprised i told her so much about myself ... about those that has happened to me recently with this guy.

and she did give me some good pieces of advice which i think makes sense...feel such a relieve after talking to her and i think i should do something..

and i realised when she said dont you feel that he has been filling in your blanks? perhaps you should start to fill in his blanks already..

but how?

need to find out .. wahaha enough said

a lot of of homework to do here huh?

let's see what kinda results i get

anticipating it very much!

excitement coming my way..

such talented man....but he is gay...still couldn't accept the fact that he IS GAY!

my new chapter begins tomorrow...i have made up my mind on this particular person whom i have been thinking about... not long ago i realised history was about to repeat itself...perhaps more because of my character who tend to develop too much thoughts hence possibly leading to the same process that i have encountered 2 yrs ago. which i do not want to...

so i have finally made up my mind to be neutral and there is nothing to be thought about. besides i know the type whom i was searching for was not that close even...

its time to buck up get a life and back to my routine life and not to be distracted again.....

tomorrow is another significant day because i'm going to be involved in another type of job which is something very different and will definitely be very challenging. i need to stay focus in my work and excel in this area for better career prospect to come..forensics audit as the name suggests is already interesting enough to begin with...

does it make me stronger?

seriously i don't know..

went to pay aunt an visit last weekend and without realising another weekend is coming..time flies bigger time these days..i'm turning XX age soon and what sometimes i ponder what did i achieved?

aunt was sharing some experiences with me ...those are real life situation and actually i agree with her how that attacked and even after math we dont understand why and how it happened...that's the complexity in a human brain. i also do not know why i went into the anxiety stage..if that got worst i may even go into depression? perhaps i was strong enough? but no matter how strong someone is ..this is something that is unavoidable.

we learn from mistakes and move on...however there is still a fear in me in case i may fall into that again..after hearing the story from my aunt now i understand why i would became anxious during that point in time.

have you ever had the feeling when everything happen at the same time which you do not have a solution to? you may not even need to have all the problem in the world to come to you..just 3 would be enough...

i had 3 that was obvious enough ... that i have no solution to at that point in time. even until today i didn't solve all 3 issues...

now im in the position whereby i'm going to let the history repeat. luckily one of it will repeat but i really dont like that to happen again...cus i duno how to dwell with it...